Fear is not something I readily admit to myself or others. I am not sure if it is because I am scared or ashamed to admit fear or do not realize that when I am in a situation that it is fear that I am feeling. Until reading this chapter I almost completely forgot about how sometimes I was fearful in school. When I was very young I seemed to be scared of nothing in school as I got older though that sentiment changed. Although I had nice teachers for the most part, it was always scary for me to ask a question or even answer because I was afraid of looking "stupid." As a young child I think I was fearless, unfortunately with age that fear grew. If only I had the courage I had then now. I think this chapter was beneficial for me to read because it has made me more aware that the students in my class may be afraid to ask a question and I think I will be more aware of that and seek out the children who may not want to ask the question in front of the class. I also appreciated reading that I was not the only one who may have doubts while I am in front of the class.
As a child I had a very severe speech impediment. Until I was seven or eight I never thought there was anything wrong with the way I spoke. Although I was taken to speech theray since I was five I always believed that it was not a big deal. It wasn't a big deal that is until other children realized I was saying words in a different way then they did. I was asked so many times "why do you talk like that?" I had no answer, I wasn't sure why I didn't sound like everyone else. Being questioned on the way I spoke made me not want to speak at all in front of a group. I still find that if I get nervous now I slip up on my words. The fear of being ridiculed made me hold back in class.
As an adult I still sometimes have that fear of not saying the right thing and being judged by a group. I still get nervous speaking in front of a group of people, but I think now I will be able to realize that a lot of people have this fear and I am not alone. I do not want my students to have a fear of speaking in front of the class or asking me a question . I am going to make conscience effort to make my classroom the most welcoming and safe feeling environment that I can. Although I know I can not stop all the judgment that happens in a school, I can do my part to be a good role model that students feel they can come to with any question, issue, or problem.
Maureen,fear is part and parcel of everyone's life. It can either ruin our life or build it. It depends how we look at it and what steps we take in order to win over it. I really admire your personal sharing of fear and the positive steps that you are going to take for your own students.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for sharing your story! I think it gives you an amazing connection to students who others deem as different. I know you are a role model to your students!
ReplyDeleteBlessed be God!
ReplyDeleteDear Maureen,
You said,"I still get nervous speaking in front of a group of people". It is most likely you will always feel this way. It is a fact that what people fear the most is public speaking. I will tell you what helps me...
1. I ask the Holy Spirit to do the talking for me, to inspire me. 2.I take deep breaths. 3.I look for something or someone in the exterior or my interior to fix my concentration and that in turn will give me security.
God bless!
Oh my gosh! I still shake to the point of convulsions when I have to speak in front of all the parents on Back to School Night. You're not alone getting nervous speaking in front of people. I try to remember that fear is also energy and I try to convert that into positive energy. We can look at fear in the classroom the same way. We can see it as energy that just needs to be switched into confidence that we will make our classrooms and teaching the best we can for our students. By the way adversity often makes us stronger, so your experiences when you were younger have probably contributed to the confident woman you radiate today!
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